Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
