Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
