i don't like sucking hair
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
