ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
