I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He passed out mid-signature
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
