ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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