I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
