I hate your face
honey bunches of taint.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
