and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
