Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
