what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
