did you get engaged???
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
