but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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