This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize