There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
