there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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