Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
