he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
