this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize