her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
