I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
