I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
