Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
