I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
