So gin and wine won't be happening again
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
