apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
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