Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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