she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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