Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
