worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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