I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
