hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
