I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
