I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
