he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
