I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Randomize
