His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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