Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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