I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
