he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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