Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
