Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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