you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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