There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
