he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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