The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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