do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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