oh god the rape fog is back!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
