No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I need to calm my uterus...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
