I wannas sexs uuuuu
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Even my vagina gasped.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Let's paint friendship bongs
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
