i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
