i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
