And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
