It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
