Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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